How to keep your twelebs happy

Well I saw this blog post and decided to share it with you guys. Do you know what is a Tweleb? Well a tweleb is a name given to Twitter Celebrities (Mostly in black Twitter). Twelebs are like Celebs now and This is how to keep them happy.

1)    Don’t argue with them: Put simply, twelebs are better than you. They tweet more hence know more than you do. Some of them practically live on Google, so how could you possibly be on an intellectual par with them. Shut up and follow!

2)    Retweet them: Yes, their tweets are gold. In fact, you don’t need 140 characters on twitter. All you need is a Retweet button because that’s your sole purpose on twitter…to retweet your tweleb.

3)    Defend them: I cannot over emphasize the importance of this point. If anyone so much as questions your tweleb, you must defend them with your life. Those useless tweeps who have opinions that differ from your twelebs’ are just losers. It’s your job to let them know they are LOSERS!

4)    Ignore their spelling mistakes: When a tweleb makes a spelling error, it’s not really an error. It’s more a remix than anything else. They are just bored of spelling it like us mere mortals do.

5)    Don’t laugh at them: If anyone levels a joke at your tweleb, you do not laugh, no matter what. Besides, anyone who makes fun of a tweleb is no different from Judas Iscariot himself. It’s betrayal!

6)    Keep your opinions to yourself: There are basically two types of people who are allowed opinions on twitter. The first is a tweleb…the second is not you. So shut up!

7)    Spread the word: Follow Friday was invented to give you a platform to spread the good word about your twelebs. #FF is to your tweleb what Sunday is to Jesus…a chance for you to spread the good word.

8)    LOL: If your tweleb cracks a joke, you better be LOLing on twitter AND in real life. Twelebs are funny dammit!

9)    Don’t #PFB: PFB stands for Please Follow Back. Who are you to ask for a Follow from a tweleb? You’re not worthy. In fact, you should consider yourself blessed to be following them. Peasant!

10) Strip!: Apparently “giving yourself” to a tweleb is a good way to keep them happy. Hey, they might even follow you back after coitus.                                              

                - Tawanda